I get these Digg emails and one with this link stood out: https://tribunecontentagency.com/article/ask-amy-personal-trainer-needs-some-personal-training
- Personal trainer fucks married woman and husband finds out. Trainer fights with husband (knocks him out) and gets fired (honest reason for firing was unprofessional behavior). How'd the husband find out? Hmmm. He ain't getting his job back, he made poor judgement and did it with one married woman so what stops the next encounter and subsequent trouble?
Related to that, I watch some videos from Bounty Hunter D who catches cheaters and his wife's channel where she does mediations. Some mediations are with guys/girls who fight with their "friends"/roommates because the friend/roommate took the boy/girl who they supposedly were with.
One theme is that people being cheated on don't necessarily show as much anger towards the one who cheated on them as much as the one who they cheated with. It makes me question the unrealistic expectations of people.
Pissed at random people: To expect a random person to know everything about your relationship and not to fuck or spoon with who they see is unrealistic. That expectation is reserved for who cheated on you, you would think. It must be easier to get pissed at someone who you don't know rather than who you know. It is irrational. It makes zero sense to be pissed at a random stranger who doesn't know you. That person may have been clueless to your existence.
Exception: if the rando person does know that you are in a relationship with the cheater and tries to show it off in some way. Definitely the time to be pissed at both.
Pissed at people you know: It is definitely understandable to get pissed off at a friend who cheats with the person you are with. There's expectations and they didn't give a shit about your feelings. Obviously they aren't your friend as you thought they were. It is weird too since some of the people are "friends" for more than 5 years too.
I would really reserve most of the anger for the person you set expectations with. I would also look at the root cause for the cheating and if I'd want to stay with the other person then talk about it and look at resolving it if possible. I mean there are various ways to cheat, so it should not be hard to get past. If it is sexual in nature then might as well reverse cheat there isn't any other way to resolve that other than looking past it (which is hard to forget).
Typically, best idea would be to end it because next problem will likely result in the same behavior since that was the way to get your attention in the first place. It is harder to end a marriage since there are tie ups. Doesn't matter who was wrong in the matter or how it got to that point, it is better to end it. Ending it ain't easy, but it is better for one's mental health given that you'd given yourself a way out by taking action!