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"Shopping Around" is only bad when it happens to you.

Updated on November 12, 2020 at the 16th hour
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DISCLAIMER: Expressed views on this blog are my own.

Never will understand the case where someone doesn't take the chance at something that meets or beats. Why take the risk of shopping around for a marginally better offer?

Applies to shopping, dating and job offers.

Job Offers. Makes sense that you'd want to wait around for multiple job offers and pick the "best" one. How do you know the "best" one is what you decide to pick? Depends on how long you wanted to work there, the team you decide to pick and marginally people's experiences on a broader level. If you only have scant information, then the chances that you picked the "best" one is really low. Some jobs will offer you to work with the team a little bit to gain an idea of what you are joining which is really good. Some just want the highest offer, which is not bad, but it is not the best one anymore if you find out how bad it is there that you don't survive to get the benefits you wanted. Is it worth playing with fire in trying to play offers against each other? They can be pulled away at any time for someone better. If the offer meets or beats your expectations along with responsibilities then why not take it?

If you put yourself in the hiring manager's position and you're looking to fill a position. You make an offer to a really good candidate, but they are taking their time for multiple opportunities, eh, what do you do? Obviously lock them down with a offer expiry time. They aren't the only candidate on the table and each passing day brings on a new really good candidate. That offer expiry time might shorten based on the number of candidates. You obviously want to shop around if it is in your favor. You pull offers and candidates will probably be hurt by it. You typically won't be too hurt when a promising candidate rejects your offer. Did you offer meet or beat expectations? Likely not and that would be a communication problem.

Is shopping around a bad thing? Not really. Both sides are playing each other and acknowledge it.

I personally just go for the the one that meets or beats my expectations because I ain't playing around.


Dating. With online dating, it has never been easier or harder 😁 to meet the loves of your life or lives (double agent?). Plenty of shopping around happening without thought, but if you meet one person (typically in person) do you stop looking? Likely. Depends on what you are looking for. "Old fashioned" dater I think would stop because they want nothing more than one person (long term relationship). The "new fashioned" dater would keep going. Why? Lots of choices who will flake, want only a fling, do it for attention, spam, scam, etc. Never stick to only one unless you feel this person is "the one" or two or three. Hah, some will not divulge into their preferences early if the app does not allow you to filter or have a profile with that information (ex. Tinder, Bumble). A monogamous person going out with a Non-monogamous person because they didn't put that information out there 😅. Oh, the perils. It makes it harder to stick to one person while dating if they are going to be a dud. The time investment you have to make and your emotions getting crushed because you put your hopes in one person. Shopping around won't be communicated until one feels "comfortable" enough to divulge, which could be a long time. Who knows, the person you are about to marry may still be going out there shopping around until the last minute.

Luckily most people follow traditions and their heart right? Fuck yes or hell no right? If only people and their chemical releases weren't complicated. "This one listens and is emotionally caring but not enough of all the others I want" while "This one is satisfies me sexually, but no or bad job" while "This one can financially support me and gets to know me, but no funny bone" or "This one is exciting, funny, active and very social, but not so sexual" etc. etc. etc. At some point, choices have to be made whether to pick one, two or all 😂. Times goes on and those choices fade away. Shopping around hurts especially emotionally here. It is not that things got boring or less exciting, just inaction on today's choices.

I'd like to think to myself that most females follow gender roles (society) and don't act unless the guy is hot and brings out her primal desires. Males on the other hand will act solely due to gender roles regardless of how hot she is. Translates to me as females will be less likely to shop around if they find the meets or beats while males will. Does that translate to cheating percentages?! Data, search on Google, says men are more likely to cheat! Hah, got you. There is likely no correlation, but who knows. Someone needs to study that if it hasn't already.

Point is, daters will shop around. If you find out it is happening to you, in what was supposed to be an (un)communicated exclusive relationship, I'd expect lots of excitement in the angry direction. I mean who doesn't want the best person they can find? It is hard to fight it when there are so many choices that give a sense of (false?) hope.

I can't find the time nor energy to shop around, so the ones that do I say they are bored and I want nothing to do with that. I'd rather find the meets or beats and lock that down with a commitment.


Alright, enough. Next.


Shopping. Shopping around is encouraged. Businesses want people to shop around for the best products in their stores! They don't want people shopping around for prices between competitors! Some businesses encourage window shopping to drag people in while others discourage it. Once a business pulls you in they have to lock you down. They want committed relationships with a lot of people, so next time you purchase because of trust rather than price. Some go through the financial pain of matching lower prices from other businesses if you have proof.

I do it all the time. No one is emotionally hurt. Financial ruin ain't coming to a business if I do it. Amazon or Walmart typically. Food prices have been raising up recently in multiple businesses, so it will be interesting to see if I start purchasing from other stores now who kept their prices low enough. What can I say, I'm not committed to any store, but I can say I prefer doing business with Amazon/Walmart because of trust in customer service. They will typically solve the problem with no bullshit (meets or beats).

There are definitely products though that are not worth the price set and it is better to be patient after looking around.


The idea of feeling miffed when you put out a financial offer (Home, Boat, Car, etc. big money purchases) and the other side plays/shops around then you deciding to pull your offer. Is it really all that bad? You wanted to be the first meets or beats. Can you blame the other side for looking for higher offers? I'm sure you'd want a chance if you could put a better offer than someone else.

I'd definitely feel miffed if the expectation suddenly went up after putting out a meets or beats offer. It is beyond insulting. Lots of fuck yous.


Such is life, I'd say take the meets or beats rather than rolling the dice.

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